Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.  Here then, are the glorious
winners: 



1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a
hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something
that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger
again. This time it worked.....  And now, the honorable mentions: 



2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine
and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance
company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a
look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's
claim was approved. 



3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the
space. Understandably, he shot her. 



4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus  driver found
that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting  from Harare to
Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his  incompetence, the driver went
to a nearby bus stop and offered  everyone waiting there a free ride. He then
delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies The deception
wasn't discovered for 3  days. 



5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he  received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he
could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. 



6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the  counter, and
asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,  he man pulled a gun
and asked for all the cash in the register, which  the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill
on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.  (If
someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime  committed?) 



7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided  that he'd
just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window.
The cinderblock bounced back and hit the  would-be thief on the head, knocking
him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole
event was caught on  videotape. 



8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her
purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the  woman was able to
give them a detailed description of the snatcher.  Within minutes, the police
apprehended the snatcher. They put him in  the car and drove back to the
store. The thief was then taken out of  the car and told to stand there for a
positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I
stole the purse from." 



9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and  demanded cash. The
clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. 






10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the
scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled
sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal
gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the  motor home's sewage tank by
mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it
was the best laugh he'd ever had.