Bless your heart, this here link is from a Southern gal!
Someone
once noted that a Southerner can get away with the most awful
kind of
insult just as long as
it's prefaced with the
words, "Bless her heart" or
"Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a six lane highway." Or, "Bless her heart, she's so bucktoothed, she could eat an apple through a picket fence.." There are also the sneakier ones: "You know, it's amazing that even though she had that baby 7 months after they were married, bless her heart, it weighed 10 pounds."
As long as the heart is sufficiently blessed, the insult can't be all
that bad. I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling
about her new Transplanted Northern friend who was upset because her toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a Southern accent. My friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of
hers, was justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN to
move to the South a couple of years ago. Can you believe it?" said her
friend. "A child of mine is going to be "taaaallllkkin liiike thiiiissss.."
Now, don't get me wrong, Some of my dearest friends are from the North,
bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their friendships and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food. I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find good bread down here.
And the heathens, bless their hearts, don't like cornbread!
We've already lost too much. I was raised to say "Well I swanee," and
never swear, But you hardly ever hear anyone say that anymore, I swanee you don't.
And I've caught myself thinking twice before saying something is "right
much," "right close," or "right good" because non-natives think this is
right funny indeed. I have a friend from Bawston who thinks it's hilarious
when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the
light. She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin'" to do something and,
bless their hearts, they don't even know where "over yonder" is, or what "I
reckon" means!
My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she can't help
being ugly, but she could've stayed home."
Southern girls know bad manners when they see them:
1. Drinking straight out of a can.
2. Not sending thank you notes.
3. Velvet after February.
4. White shoes before Easter or after Labor Day.
Southern girls always say:
1. "Yes, ma'am."
2. "Yes, sir."
Southern girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:
1. "Y'all come back! now ya heaah,"
2. "Well, bless your heart."
3. "Drop by when you can.
4. "How's your mama?"
5. "Love your hair."
Southern girls know their three R's:
1. Rich
2. Richer
3. Richest
Southern girls know everybody's first name:
1. Honey
2. Darlin'
3. Sugah
Southern girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:
1. "Gone With the Wind"
2. "Fried Green Tomatoes"
3. "Driving Miss Daisy"
4. "Steel Magnolias"
Southern girls know their cities:
1. Hotlanta or Adlanna =Atlanta as outsiders say)
2. Richmon, in Virginia
3. Challston in South Carelina
4. S'vannah in Gawga
5. Birminham in Albama
6. Nawlins'
7. OH,! And that otha city in Alabama? It's pronounced MUNTGUMRY!
Southern girls know the three deadly sins:
1. Bad hair
2. Bad manners
3. Bad blind dates
Now you run along, Sugah, and send this link to someone else Raised In The South, i.e., Southern Belles, or ANY females aspiring to be GRITS (Girls Raised In The South!) Even the northern ones, "Bless Their Lil Ole Hearts".
That Reminds me - I have a rubber stamp that says "Just because your
Children were born in the South does not make them Southerners. After all,
if a cat had kittens in the oven, that wouldn't make them biscuits."
Bless Yer Hearts. YAll
"Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a six lane highway." Or, "Bless her heart, she's so bucktoothed, she could eat an apple through a picket fence.." There are also the sneakier ones: "You know, it's amazing that even though she had that baby 7 months after they were married, bless her heart, it weighed 10 pounds."
As long as the heart is sufficiently blessed, the insult can't be all
that bad. I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling
about her new Transplanted Northern friend who was upset because her toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a Southern accent. My friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of
hers, was justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN to
move to the South a couple of years ago. Can you believe it?" said her
friend. "A child of mine is going to be "taaaallllkkin liiike thiiiissss.."
Now, don't get me wrong, Some of my dearest friends are from the North,
bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their friendships and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food. I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find good bread down here.
And the heathens, bless their hearts, don't like cornbread!
We've already lost too much. I was raised to say "Well I swanee," and
never swear, But you hardly ever hear anyone say that anymore, I swanee you don't.
And I've caught myself thinking twice before saying something is "right
much," "right close," or "right good" because non-natives think this is
right funny indeed. I have a friend from Bawston who thinks it's hilarious
when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the
light. She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin'" to do something and,
bless their hearts, they don't even know where "over yonder" is, or what "I
reckon" means!
My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she can't help
being ugly, but she could've stayed home."
Southern girls know bad manners when they see them:
1. Drinking straight out of a can.
2. Not sending thank you notes.
3. Velvet after February.
4. White shoes before Easter or after Labor Day.
Southern girls always say:
1. "Yes, ma'am."
2. "Yes, sir."
Southern girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:
1. "Y'all come back! now ya heaah,"
2. "Well, bless your heart."
3. "Drop by when you can.
4. "How's your mama?"
5. "Love your hair."
Southern girls know their three R's:
1. Rich
2. Richer
3. Richest
Southern girls know everybody's first name:
1. Honey
2. Darlin'
3. Sugah
Southern girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:
1. "Gone With the Wind"
2. "Fried Green Tomatoes"
3. "Driving Miss Daisy"
4. "Steel Magnolias"
Southern girls know their cities:
1. Hotlanta or Adlanna =Atlanta as outsiders say)
2. Richmon, in Virginia
3. Challston in South Carelina
4. S'vannah in Gawga
5. Birminham in Albama
6. Nawlins'
7. OH,! And that otha city in Alabama? It's pronounced MUNTGUMRY!
Southern girls know the three deadly sins:
1. Bad hair
2. Bad manners
3. Bad blind dates
Now you run along, Sugah, and send this link to someone else Raised In The South, i.e., Southern Belles, or ANY females aspiring to be GRITS (Girls Raised In The South!) Even the northern ones, "Bless Their Lil Ole Hearts".
That Reminds me - I have a rubber stamp that says "Just because your
Children were born in the South does not make them Southerners. After all,
if a cat had kittens in the oven, that wouldn't make them biscuits."
Bless Yer Hearts. YAll
